How to Help ADHD Children Keep Their Self-Esteem Up

It's a common fact that children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder often have trouble in their relationships, both at home and in making and keeping friends.

Children with ADHD have short attention spans, find it difficult to control their impulses, and are hyperactive. This is now known to be due to medical and genetic factors, but those around them frequently don't understand and assign blame to the children.

Because of these characteristics, children with ADHD can be disruptive and may embarrass their parents and teachers, bringing punishment on themselves. They are often behaving in a way that they don't even understand themselves, wishing they could be better behaved but unable to focus and splurting out embarrassing things. They therefore find it hard to fit in socially and to do their schoolwork.

The result of this is that many ADHD children have a poor self-image. They can find it difficult to think well of themselves. They don't understand their own misbehavior and soon start thinking that's just how they are, they were born to be excluded.

Because of their impulsive, disruptive behavior, ADHD children may find themselves put out of the classroom and parents of other children won't want to invite them to their homes or let them play with their children. All of this means that the ADHD child's self-image takes a battering.

It's important for the adults - parents and teachers - in the ADHD child's life to recognize the condition as a medical condition that requires treatment and handling in a careful way. Some ways in which those around such a child can help are as follows.

1. First and foremost, love them the same as any other child, and let them know it.

2. Coupled with this is trust. A child that knows that their parents and teachers trust them will go to great lengths to retain that trust. Treat misdeeds as uncharacteristic and isolated incidents (even if inside you think otherwise!). Give them a standard to attain to and their need for reassurance will incite them do their best.

3. Catch them doing something right and praise them for it, as often as possible. Make them feel positive about themselves. Small praises will bring back positive returns many times over.

4. Show them appreciation. Feeling appreciated is one of the most powerful levers.

5. Help them to set goals. ADHD children find it very difficult to think beyond the very short term. Show them how setting short, medium and long term goals can help keep them on track. As they attain their goals their confidence will increase.

6. Find activities that they can do well. It could be a hobby or an interest. Don't push them into what you want, but rather find out what's best for them. Remember, though, that the nature of ADHD is that they may find it difficult to stick with one activity and find other interests. Don't react negatively to this, rather ensure that whatever they do they are encouraged to do it well.

7. Teach them to write lists. Lists are a great way to keep a wandering mind under control. If a child can learn to plan the day or week, write lists of what they need or want to do, cross it off as things are accomplished, this will go a long way to helping them, now and in later life.

8. Be positive. ADHD is real, but it is better understood now than it used to be. Focus on what the ADHD child can do well and keep them moving in that direction. In the end, the energy and mental activity that ADHD children display can be channeled into positive effects.

9. Don't be sarcastic or personally critical. When you have to point out a fault, avoid saying "you", as in "you're bad". Use the sandwich technique:

a) praise the person ("You're usually my helper")

b) then point out the bad behavior

c) finish by praising again ("I know you want to do better").

It's important to avoid criticizing the child themselves, only draw attention to their unacceptable behavior, but let the child see their behavior as separate from themselves. This will allow them to have a better self-image and then bring their behavior into line with that positive self-image.

These are some ways to help children with ADHD have a better view of themselves and improve their own behavior. It will help them take control of their condition and improve both their own life and yours.